I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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