i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It's rum buckets o'clock
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize