Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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