I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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