Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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