I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
