So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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