Yo dont text me then not text me
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
