dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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