If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
