I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
