he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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