I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
