It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Who died my cat blue again?
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