the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Boobs are out for the taking
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
