You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you would pick up someone in the library
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize