i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
