Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
