my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize