Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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