i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i will never coherently bang her
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
