Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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