btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
