I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
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