Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
