So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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