HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
