when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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