Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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