I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You're like the curious george of whores
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
