when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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