She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
