Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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