She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We're too hungover to prance.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize