i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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