just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
