Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
