I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Randomize
