Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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