Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So vagazzling was a success
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
