the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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