I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
