Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
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