I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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