dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
