Tell her she can't have a vagina
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize