Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Damn victory sex feels great
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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