Im at strip club and am horny
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i want to swaddle you in tequila
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
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