I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
