Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
