brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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