nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize