Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
