He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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