Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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