Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
