Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
