i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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