i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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