Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
