I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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