Already got asked if we're dating
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
BRING THE BAGELS
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize