I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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