But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
