all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
