My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
