Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
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