He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
