the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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