She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
