never play flip cup with pint glasses
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
