I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
